Breaking Taboos: Lashawn Forde on Women’s Mental Health and Misconceptions.
In a society where the stigmas surrounding mental health often undermine the conversation, the need for champions in the field becomes ever more crucial. Trinidad and Tobago is no exception, where cultural norms and misconceptions frequently hinder individuals from seeking the help they need.
Meet Lashawn Forde, a women's empowerment and mental health coach, who has dedicated her life to breaking these barriers. Through her innovative startup, Lashawn addresses the unique challenges women face, providing a safe space for them to prioritize their mental well-being.
In this interview, we explore Lashawn's personal battles, her insights into the societal pressures that keep mental health in the shadows, and her relentless drive to transform the mental health landscape for women in Trinidad and Tobago.
Can you paint a picture of your early life and upbringing, highlighting key moments or values that have stayed with you over the years?
Lashawn: Growing up, my childhood was filled with trauma and pain. My father was an abuser, constantly trying to control and manipulate us. It felt like we were living in a prison, with him targeting our physical appearances and destroying our self-esteem. He dictated what we wore, who we spoke to, and even what we watched on TV. It was a difficult upbringing, devoid of any real value.
As I entered my early teens, I couldn’t help but question why my mother stayed and why she didn’t protect me. I saw her as weak and felt disappointed. As I matured, I began to understand that I needed to create my own morals and values. One quote from my Aunt Gwen always stuck with me: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
I embraced this statement and made it my guiding principle. Today, negative words have no power over me because I have built a shield of self-confidence.
Reflecting on your early school years, could you share how the educational environments you were a part of influenced your understanding of mental health and empowerment, setting the stage for your future career path?
Lashawn: School years were like a thrilling adventure for me, always presenting new challenges to overcome. It was a time of self-discovery, where I had to navigate the complexities of my own identity and prove myself to my peers. During those years, I had the opportunity to break free from the cold of my home life and create a unique persona.
Interacting with individuals from diverse backgrounds and upbringings allowed me to piece together different aspects of their personalities to form my own. Some traits I adopted were positive, while others were not. Throughout my school days, I was known but not necessarily popular. I preferred being a lone wolf and carefully chose the people I allowed into my inner circle of friends. Thankfully, I had the privilege of understanding myself early on due to my upbringing.
Growing up in a challenging household made me resilient and determined not to falter. I witnessed former classmates who ruined their lives because of the company they kept; to this day, they haven't found themselves. It's important to realize that our actions during our school years have a lasting impact on our future. One of the blessings I had during that time was a mentor who recognized my potential.
Despite my troubled childhood and low expectations from my parents, this teacher sat me down one day and delivered a life-changing lecture that I will forever cherish. I owe her my gratitude because, without her guidance, I don't believe I would have been fully equipped to navigate the right path. As teenagers, we often live in the present and believe we have all the time in the world, but life can be challenging and unfair. However, if we establish a strong foundation, everything will eventually fall into place.
As my home life struggles began impacting my school performance due to my rebellious behavior, I found myself in conversations with social workers and guidance counselors. Unfortunately, their approach didn't quite resonate with me. They seemed more focused on practical solutions rather than understanding my perspective. I realized then that there must be other girls like me out there, and I hoped to make a positive difference for them. My interest in psychology stemmed from my love for self-help books, and I discovered my talent for words. I believed in the power of speech and my ability to navigate any situation with my words. I excelled at giving advice, always focusing on solutions, and considering all viewpoints as a realist. While my initial dream was to become a clinical psychologist, life led me to discover my passion for coaching.
Many of us experience some form of mental struggle and trauma in life, whether at home, in school, or at work. Can you share some of the personal challenges you faced and how you overcame them to become the coach you are today?
Lashawn: I firmly believe that certain traumas can be incredibly difficult to overcome. In my own experience, I faced a lot of challenges growing up that made it hard for me to fully appreciate my accomplishments. I would often downplay my achievements and even refrain from celebrating holidays or birthdays because I had been conditioned to believe it was pointless. Through self-reflection, I realized that this mindset had caused me to constantly hide in the shadows and struggle with socializing. I had become so accustomed to isolation that I found it difficult to reveal my true self to others, often presenting different versions of myself to different people.
It wasn't necessarily due to low self-esteem, but rather because I couldn't comprehend the idea of having support. However, I had a mentor who saw my potential and constantly encouraged me to celebrate my achievements and believe in myself. She made sure I didn't lose sight of my goals. Becoming a coach has always been a lifelong dream of mine, as it is where my true passion lies. I understand that many individuals lack the support they need, and I strive to be that person who pushes them and reminds them of their capabilities. \
Though it stung, I reminded myself that this is my true calling and purpose in life. Always have confidence in yourself, because there will always be those rooting for your failure. The very same individuals who once doubted me are now accusing me of trying too hard to be someone I'm not. It's a stark reminder that not everyone will be supportive. I am now grateful for the chance to empower young girls and women like me who are determined to defy the odds and succeed.
Share with us the story behind your startup. How did the idea come to fruition, and what are the primary goals and aspirations you have for empowering women through your initiatives?
Lashawn: During my time at university, I pursued a major in Psychology, and let me tell you, I absolutely adored this program. However, it was disheartening to constantly hear people belittle the value of a psychology degree. They claimed it had no job prospects and that mental health was not a priority in the Caribbean. As I progressed through my degree, I couldn't help but wonder about the career opportunities available to me. I considered Human Resources as it seemed to align with my psychology background, but the corporate nature of the field didn't resonate with my true passion and calling.
Being a social science enthusiast, I knew it wasn't the right fit for me. After completing my degree, I found myself torn between migrating or exploring other options. However, upon reflection, I realized that I would face the same challenges in a different country. The prevailing notion was that there were no opportunities, but I refused to accept that. Instead, I took matters into my own hands and founded my private practice, She Coaches TT. When defining my niche, I carefully considered various factors.
Being in my mid-20s, I knew I could connect with young individuals like myself. Additionally, I wanted to focus on a group that often goes unnoticed - women trapped in toxic relationships or marriages and young mothers. Society tends to oversimplify their struggles, assuming they can simply leave. However, I understand firsthand that it's not that easy. I can empathize with them because I am a product of a toxic relationship.
How do you envision your business making a tangible impact in the lives of women today, especially in terms of mental well-being, fostering personal growth, and addressing the unique challenges they face in society?
Lashawn: I come from a family line led by strong women, who always emphasized the importance of independence. However, they often expressed regret for putting men at the center of their lives. As a young woman, I frequently hear older women lamenting missed opportunities and unfulfilled potential due to prioritizing family over personal growth.
Some tied their entire identity to family life, only to struggle when faced with unexpected challenges. Many never took the time to explore their potential, leading to a sense of regret. That's why my coaching program focuses on helping individuals reinvent themselves, pushing past self-imposed limitations.
Have you witnessed instances where neglecting mental health has led to negative outcomes, and if so, how can these situations be prevented or addressed?
Lashawn: I've observed many people destroy themselves, regardless of whether they are men or women. Society tends to hold the belief that women should always be strong and act as saviors. There are times when irreversible sacrifices are made, leading to stress and mental breakdowns. While it may be difficult to prevent such situations, there are steps and strategies to overcome them based on individual circumstances. It's all about taking calculated risks - sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.
How can individuals better recognize and address their own mental health needs, especially in environments where seeking help may be stigmatized?
Lashawn: The first thing is to acknowledge that mental health is real. Learning about mental health conditions, symptoms, and treatments can help to break the stigma but we need to be more open-minded. Persons can use resources like self-help books, online therapy platforms, or mental health apps for support.
I will always advocate self-care, once you feel good you look good, so focus on self-care activities such as exercise, meditation, sleep, and healthy eating. Establishing boundaries to safeguard your mental health from toxic relationships is a plus because your emotions are fueled by your thoughts, what you think is what you feel. Lastly be open to seeking help from therapists, counselors, coaches, or psychiatrists if managing on your own becomes challenging.
What advice would you give to women who are struggling to prioritize their mental well-being while pursuing their personal and professional goals?
Lashawn: Make sure to love yourself first and foremost, and remember to put yourself at the top of your priority list. It's okay to be a little selfish when it comes to taking care of yourself. After all, you can't pour from an empty cup - so make sure to fill yours up first!
What, in your own personal view, are some of the top challenges that women are currently facing in society? How does your work attempt to address these challenges?
While women continue to thrive in the workplace and take on leadership roles, societal expectations often dictate how we should behave and what we should achieve. This constant comparison among us creates rifts that are entirely unnecessary. Our main obstacle is our own mindset, as we tend to criticize and belittle each other based on unrealistic standards of success. The solution lies in practicing self-love, as projecting our insecurities onto others only perpetuates a toxic cycle. By embracing our unique identities, we can move away from competition and towards collaboration and empowerment as women.
How do you see your startup evolving in the future, and what impact do you hope it will have on the broader conversation around women’s empowerment and mental health?
Ever since I started my own business, it has been a cherished dream of mine. Currently, I am making a positive impact on the lives of numerous women, and my ultimate aim is to bring about a significant change in their lives. We all require support at times, and my endeavor is to establish an authentic community where we can nurture and uplift each other.
While we are often praised for our strength as women, during difficult times, we seek solace in our sisterhood, sharing our vulnerabilities and insecurities. Therefore, my primary objective now is to create a strong support system to assist these women, even those who may seem hard to reach. I collaborate with NGOs, government offices, and sponsors to build a platform that can provide the necessary aid to women in need, as there is only so much I can do alone. By engaging with these individuals, I hope to extend my assistance to more women who reach out to me.
Thank you for joining us on this insightful journey into the life and work of Lashawn Forde. Her candid reflections on the complexities of mental health and her commitment to empowering women in Trinidad and Tobago offer a powerful reminder of the importance of breaking down societal stigmas. We hope her story has inspired you as much as it has inspired us. You can follow Lashawn on Instagram at “shecoachestt.”
Be sure to continue to stay tapped into our social channels as we have plenty more compelling stories and interviews lined up. Stay tuned for more inspiring content from our dedicated team at Preshaa.
